Since the sudden passing of my uncle two years ago, a day doesn’t go by without me thinking about how admirably he lived his life and how I can incorporate these lessons into my own life. He was a man who not only left a positive impact on this world, but also had a great influence on the many lives he touched throughout his lifetime. One of his positive attributes that stood out for me was his unending humility and his attempts to live his life without regrets or apologies. He was a man that gave freely of himself to all those that he cared for around him, and it was apparent from all the support his family received after his passing of how much he was revered.
As I have been trying to make sense of all of it, I have recognized several paradigm shifts occurring within my own life that has influenced the way I see the people around me, which has influenced the work that I do, and has influenced the decisions I make on a daily basis.
One paradigm shift that has shifted for me has been letting go of judgment. Judgment, or the fear of it, motivates many of us to limit ourselves, or censor our lives in a way that we rob the world of our uniqueness. By trying to avoid judgment, we attempt to blend in with the rest of the world and cease to stand out.
I have started recognizing the times in my life that I was motivated by how others may have perceived me or what their judgments may have been about the choices I made or the actions I took. It is within this 20/20 hindsight perspective that I am able to recognize the power I gave away to others who couldn’t possibly understand the person I was and what I needed to do in order to live an authentic life.
I believe now that the only way to live life is unapologetically. To move through this world always reaching and striving for our authenticity is our purpose, and there isn’t anyone that can pass judgment on our individual truth. For one day, our time on this earth will be over, and the judgment of others will not matter in the end anyways.
Rest in peace, Tito
Dr Ray Kadkhodaian is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor at The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center. Located in Arlington Heights, Illinois, The Lighthouse, founded by Dr. Ray and Rev. Jean Kadkhodaian, provides the guiding light of emotional wellness for individuals, couples and families. In addition to providing a unique and more successful approach to working with couples called, Couples Synergy, The Lighthouse provides services such as: marriage counseling, relationship counseling, family therapy, individual counseling, divorce counseling, hypnotherapy, psychiatry and personal development workshops.