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Dealing with Major Life Changes

Change is constant in life. Even if a major life change is exciting, it does not mean there isn't added stress. Do yourself a favor and prepare accordingly to enhance your chance of a smooth adjustment.
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Is Happiness a Moral Imperative?

Edward L. Oriole L.C.P.C. N.C.C. C.A.D.C. Clinical Therapist The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center and Footprints to Recovery IS HAPPINESS A MORAL IMPERATIVE ? 19 articles   Often in my clinical work I ask a client the following question: “Do you have a moral obligation to be happy?” This opens up an avenue of thought that […]
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Spring Cleaning Your Life

Spring gives such a positive push in motivation for making things fresh again. Use these guidelines for decluttering your personal life and make it much for functional for the life you want.
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The four mistakes men make during an argument with their spouse

The four mistakes men make during an argument with their spouse -By Dr Ray Kadkhodaian After having worked with thousands of couples together, my wife and I have been witnesses to many different relationship patterns that can help build the relationship or destroy a relationship. When working with men, my job is to help them […]
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Divorce Support Group

Divorce Support Group offered by The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center, a counseling center located in Schaumburg, Illinois     April 21, 2018 10:30am – 12:00pm Topics covered: Letting go of the hurt & anger Self-empowerment Co-parenting challenges Personal boundaries Dating again Finding life balance $40 per person Call 847-253-9769 to register Hosted by The Lighthouse […]
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Addiction Education and Support Group

Addiction Education and Support Group offered at The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center a counseling center located in Schaumburg, Illinois on Fridays at 6pm Facilitated by Edward Oriole, LCPC, CADC “We seek to identify and address that period of time when abstinence resolve has weakened but actual relapse has not yet occurred” “Relapse is a process. […]
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WHAT HAPPENS TO FAMILIES WHEN ‘ADDICTION” BECOMES A PART OF IT?

"The whole of the family is adversely affected by one addict or one addiction within the family." "Here are the warning signs to look for within the family structure. "The goals of family synergy model."
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What Does a Panic Attack Feel Like?

Read on to better understand the mechanics and sensations of what a panic attack is.
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Being in Love and Logical Thinking

What if “happily ever after” is not the end but the beginning.
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Marriage Counseling: Challenge Your Marriage to New Experiences – Lighthouse Emotional Wellness

Marriage Counseling: Challenge Your Marriage to New Experiences – Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Learn new tips on how to spice up your relationship with loved ones in your life, with the help of Dr. Ray and Rev. Jean. For more information and to follow Dr. Ray and Rev. Jean, follow them on social media!  
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Choosing your Profile Pictures for Online Dating

Choosing the right pictures to go along with your profile is just as important as the words in your profile and are often the first thing that potential matches look at to get to know you.
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What is the first thing you touch in the morning? #StopPhubbingYourSpouse

What is the first thing you touch in the morning? #StopPhubbingYourSpouse   -By Dr Ray & Jean Kadkhodaian What is the first thing you touch in the morning? #StopPhubbingYourSpouse. Before your mind goes to the gutter, and now that we have gotten your attention, we want to address a big issue in relationships today. Although […]
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Marriage Counseling Schaumburg Illinois: “Should couples see the same therapist”

Marriage Counselors in Schaumburg Illinois: “Should couples see the same therapist?” Dr. Ray and Jean Kadkhodaian are the founders of The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center, and the creators of “Couples Synergy” a Marriage Counseling program in Schaumburg Illinois.  “Couples Synergy” is a 90 day program designed by married couple Dr. Ray and Jean Kadkhodaian to […]
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Asking for Help is a Sign of Strength

There seems to be a myth that asking for help is a sign of weakness, when in fact I have seen only strength
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“What Men & Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day” -By Dr. Ray and Rev. Jean Kadkhodaian

What Men & Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day By Dr. Ray and Rev. Jean Kadkhodaian What She Wants… Little girls dream or romantic gifts and wedding days, and their first real taste of this is Valentine’s Day. Gaudy cards inscribed with the finest 8th grade poetry and priceless costume jewelry has melted the hearts […]
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EFFECTIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION FOR COUPLES

EFFECTIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION FOR COUPLES Edward L. Oriole L.C.P.C. C.A.D.C.   Did you ever say “I am sorry” and felt a sense of discomfort.  This signals that the cliché apology was not quite enough?  There is a reason for that feeling of dissatisfaction. The reason is that our logical brain is telling us that something […]
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How to Make Easier Decisions during the Holidays: Deciphering between Activity Focus and Relationship Focus

The control is yours when you decide which experiences deserve your extra attention and which things just need to get done.
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What Does It Mean To Be A Victim, Survivor or Thriver?

What does it mean to be a Victim, Survivor or Thriver? Life is challenging, and how we react to those challenges can tell us so much about ourselves.  It is necessary to assess ourselves honestly to develop a better understanding of our level of resiliency, and further strengthen skills that we are lacking.  To make […]
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The Attitude of Gratitude

The Attitude of Gratitude To be grateful means to feel pleased with something, in fact the root of the word is “gratus” which means “pleasing.”  But our instinct is to wait until we are pleased and then express gratitude, but what if we did this the other way around?  Complacency is the barrier to gratitude, […]
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The Four Agreements and the Synergy Model of Couple’s Therapy

The Four Agreements support successful couple's therapy
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THE EFFECTIVENESS OF FAMILY COUNSELING

THE EFFECTIVENESS OF FAMILY COUNSELING Edward L. Oriole L.C.P.C. C.A.D.C. N.C.C. When I was a teenager I read “Anna Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy. Tolstoy wrote with a profound appreciation of the human condition. His insight is demonstrated with the first line of “Anna Karenina”; He posits that “All happy families are alike. Each unhappy family […]
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We Are Failing Our Teens: The Destructive Combination of Technology, Social Media, and Sexuality

We Are Failing Our Teens: The Destructive Combination of Technology, Social Media, and Sexuality -By Dr Ray Kadkhodaian This past January, in a local suburb of Chicago, a 16-year-old teen committed suicide hours after being confronted by school officials for video recording a sexual encounter he had with another peer. He was an honor roll […]
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Podcasts for Self-Improvement

I find that listening to podcasts is one of the most effective ways for me to learn from other people and experts all while continuing to keep up with my schedule. Whether you are a seasoned-podcast-listener or new to the whole concept, I have put together a few of my favorite podcasts for self-improvement.
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Easing Back to School Anxiety for High School and College Students

Welcome back to school! It’s a perfect time for you to have a fresh start and strong motivation. To make sure worry and anxiety don’t get in the way of all you are about to take on this year, let’s review how to make the most of it.
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The Power of Positive Intention in Couples Therapy

"When the certainty of positive intention is firmly in place the level of trust for the couple increases and the chance for miscommunication decreases."
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I need help, do I seek out a therapist or a life coach?

  I need help, do I seek out a therapist or a life coach?   -By Dr. Ray Kadkhodaian Most people do not know that there are differences between licensed therapists and life coaches, and the type of guidance you will receive is predicated on which one you choose. It is not a surprise that […]
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The Origin of Behavior

<h4>The Origin of Behavior</h4> Behavior was first studied by evolutionists ages ago. According to them, all animal and human behaviors have distinct evolutionary roots. They believe that their characteristics are passed down to them by their most primitive ancestors. In addition to their claim, they say that all behaviors come from one single origin and […]
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The Four Types of Parenting Styles and the Effect upon Children

Parenting style affects the way that children develop into adults
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Talking Points and Discussion Questions for “13 Reasons Why”

What did you relate to in this story? Which character did you relate to most in 13 Reasons Why? What impacted you the most throughout this series? What were your thoughts and feelings about blame placed on each of the characters in the story? Do you feel suicide can be contagious? What were your thoughts/feelings […]
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“13 Reasons Why” Review

Regardless of opinion for this show existing, it has created easier access to a serious topic, which can be a positive thing --- if addressed effectively.
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Kuma’s Corner Schaumburg Review – lunch date

  Lunch Date at Kuma’s Corner – Schaumburg   HEAVY – this must be the best word to describe this restaurant in its entirety. Everything is ridiculously heavy in this gourmet burger bar. Burgers, beers, and bands are roaring like their restaurant logo. The big screen projecting horror movies complement with the atmosphere while we […]
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Perspectives on Couples Synergy from Author, Drew Bekius

Perspectives on Couples Synergy from Author, Drew Bekius   Having been contacted after many years and after having obtained consent to talk about this experience, Jean and I are very proud to have been part of the life of Drew Bekius, author of “The Rise and Fall of Faith”, are extremely honored to have been […]
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A Taste of Dallas

Being from Chicago, we are used to a city with so many delicious choices when it comes to food. That is why when we travel, we try to enjoy as much of the local cuisine as possible to get a taste of what that city has to offer. Dallas is no exception. We had the […]
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Day Date Idea: Scuppernong Trail & the Holi Cannoli

About an hour north of the Illinois-Wisconsin border, you will find some great hiking trails and a hidden gem of a restaurant called, the Holi Cannoli. Great day date idea!
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Punch Bowl Social Review

Punch Bowl Social Review If you ever want to unwind and go out for some beer, good food and recreation, you’ve got to try this fancy dining place in Schaumburg. Quick bite after a late night of working, Jean and I decided to stop in at Punch Bowl Social in Schaumburg. This restaurant has a […]
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Why Bother with Change?

Why Bother with Change? By: Dr Ray and Rev Jean Kadkhodaian So its day 254 of my journey I only have 20 days left to complete the last 122 miles to reach 1000. A question I get asked and a question I ask myself often is why. Why do this. Why put myself through this […]
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Couples Synergy Scavenger Hunt

Click on the flyer for more information on the Couples Synergy Scavenger Hunt between 2/14/17 – 2/21/17
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The 5 R’s for Coping with Anxiety

The 5 R’s for Coping with Anxiety Kate Rhodes MS, LPC, NCC   Anxiety, more often than not, has the ability to sneak up on us in the most inconvenient ways. A little anxiety is useful in times when we need a good push; it lets us know we are alive, trying new things and […]
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28 Day Self Love Challenge

28-Day Self Love Challenge By Joy Walsh, LCSW February is the month of love! Of all the relationships you have and focus on, how often do you work on the one you have with yourself?  This relationship is the most important as you cannot fully love others without loving yourself first.  For the next four […]
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Simplify Your Wellness: How to create and use a Wellness Wheel

Finding an effective balance in all areas of health does not need to be an overwhelming goal. Using a Wellness Wheel is a practical way to simplify your focus on achieving balance in life.
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Creating a Coping Skills Toolbox

Creating a Coping Skills Toolbox Kate Rhodes MS, LPC, NCC   Coping skills are techniques used to deal with stress and anxiety. These can be positive or negative in nature. The ability to contrive positive, good coping skills and begin implementing them into your daily life takes effort and practice. There are countless lists you […]
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How to Recognize Depression in Children

Do not wait! Having a child with depressive symptoms does not make you a bad or negligent parent. It may not suggest that you had anything to do with the child's pain. Good parenting simply demands that you get the child professional help and support the child in their recovery.
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My Thoughts on the JMT – By Dr Ray Kadkhodaian

John Muir Trail Thoughts – by Ray Kadkhodaian It has taken me this long to process everything that has happened with this journey and the impact it has had on me and it just seems fitting to close out 2016 with my thoughts about our hiking journey this past year. Make no doubt about it; […]
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An Effective Skill to Immediately Release Tension

An Effective Skill to Immediately Release Tension By Joy Walsh, LCSW ”Your personal energy is your most important asset!  Be careful of it! Spend it wisely!” ~ Dr. Edmund Jacobson, You Must Relax How stressed are you right now? Even if you answered “not at all” to this question, you might be surprised to find […]
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Binge-drinking and the Danger to Adolescents -by Edward L. Oriole, LCPC N.C.C.

Binge-drinking and the Danger to Adolescents -by Edward L. Oriole, LCPC N.C.C. Due to the long ­term effects of alcohol abuse, binge ­drinking has become a major public health issue. What is binge ­drinking? Social, medical and emotional health media categorize “binge- drinking” as a pejorative term. It includes individuals who engage in heavy, episodic […]
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How do I know if I am depressed?

How Do I Know If I am Depressed? By Edward L. Oriole L.C.P.C. N.C.C.   In the course of everyday life. We often ask ourselves when does “feeling blue” rise to the level of depression.  I have often observed this in my practice when individuals don’t recognize when “feeling blue” becomes mild, moderate or even […]
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“Quiet” “The Power of Introverts…” by Susan Cain.

“Quiet” “The Power of Introverts…” by Susan Cain Every so often an important, but readable book, is published. One that meets a societal need, is jargon free and makes a compelling argument. Author Susan Cain’s book “Quiet. The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking” is a success in all three areas. […]
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Have You Ever?

Have You Ever? Have you ever felt beautiful? Have you ever felt ugly? Have you ever lost?  Have you ever won? Have you ever not had enough money?  Have you ever had money burning a hole in your pocket? Have you ever felt fat?  Have you ever felt thin? Have you ever been with someone […]
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Lessons From My Uncle By: Dr Ray Kadkhodaian

Lessons From My Uncle By: Dr Ray Kadkhodaian Since the sudden passing of my uncle two years ago, a day doesn’t go by without me thinking about how admirably he lived his life and how I can incorporate these lessons into my own life.  He was a man who not only left a positive impact […]
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Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right: Thoughts on Ashley Madison Being Hacked

Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right: Thoughts on Ashley Madison Being Hacked There are no doubts that technology has brought many advances to our world and has sped up our access to an abundance of information as well as connected people who at a time in the past may have never met. It is amazing […]
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10 Easy Ways to Beat Procrastination

When we are facing the roadblock of procrastination, it helps to use different strategies to move us along. We all procrastinate at one time or another. We do this mainly because we dread facing the task at hand. However, there are many other reasons that can play an additional factor in our procrastination, such as […]
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The Dangerous Myths of Domestic Abuse By: Edward L. Oriole

The Dangerous Myths of Domestic Abuse My experience, in the field of psychology, has left me with the observation that domestic abuse is often obscured by media-driven mythology.  Over one-third (35.6 % ) of American women report that they have experienced either physical abuse upon their person or stalking by their former intimate partner.  This […]
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Date Night Idea

Deka in Wheeling! Absolutely fantastic! See the Manager, Paulea Jacobs, and say Dr Ray & Rev Jean sent you. Friday nights are Jazz night and every course was delicious! Try the New Zealand Rack of Lamb… #Deka #datenight #marriage #relationship #drrayrevjean
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The Lighthouse and Counselor’s Self-Care

THE LIGHTHOUSE EMOTIONAL WELLNESS CENTER AND THE STAFF’S SELF-CARE By Edward Oriole, LCPC The strength of the therapeutic alliance between the counselor and the client, remains the best predictor of successful clinical outcome. Our foremost task, as therapists, is to maintain a model of good mental health for our clients, our peers and our support […]
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Your Two brains

YOUR TWO BRAINS This article is intended to prompt you to make acquaintance with your two brains.  It is important because they are often at cross-purposes with each other.  The first, or emotional brain (called the amygdala) is your oldest genetic endowment.  It is tucked deep within the mass circuitry of your reptile brain. It […]
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Tip of the day by Dr Ray

Remember that under #stress, people don’t rise to the occasion.. they sink to the level of their highest training. #Change the way you have been “training” your #thoughts & #actions, and ultimately change the way you deal with the challenges that #life throws at you.
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Ten Keys to Happier Living

Inherent within the human spirit is the quest for happiness. Even the suicide, says philosopher Blaise Pascal, seeks the happiness of oblivion. After years of watching individuals seek happiness I came to a few conclusions: If your happiness model is owning things, it is doomed to failure. If you lose or miss one or two […]
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Depression and anxiety in our children and adolescents

By Leila Kakvand Research indicates that depression and anxiety often co-occurs in adults.  Unfortunately, co-occurring depression and anxiety also happen to children and adolescents.  In fact, anxiety and depression are the issues mostly commonly seen in children and adolescents.  Experts estimate that “approximately 11% to 69% of anxious youth suffer from a depressive disorder, and […]
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Tip of the Day! Fight or Flight -by Jean Kadkhodaian

Did you know that when your heart rate goes over 100 beats per minute that your brain goes into fight of flight? When we are in fight or flight we can not longer think logically we just respond emotionally. Fight or Flight reduces our ability to process what we hear logically or worse not allow any information in at all. This is why when you are fighting with someone you or they only hear one or 2 key words out of context and become irrational.
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R u happy? bc im not ☹ #SocialMedia’sRuiningOurMarriage

Go out for dinner these days and you can count the number of couples out on a date who at multiple points are checking their phones simultaneously at the table.  Often, you can even catch entire families checking their texts, their friends’ updates and overall communicating more with the outside world than the people sitting […]
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Is your relationship in trouble? 3 Signs That You’re Heading in the Wrong Direction!

A couple waits an average of 6 years between first feeling dissatisfied with their relationship and seeking help.  The greatest problems are normal life transitions that they do not successfully adapt to such as having a baby, moving, changes in employment, and ageing.  When your individual lives or the dynamics of a relationship go through […]
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