Paying attention to how men relate to others has taught me that maleness styles fall into four categories.  That is:1.The Boy.  2. The Player.  3. The Confused man and finally 4. The Good man.

The boy confuses growing older with growing up.  Growing older is mandatory and growing up is a choice. A boy is shallow and remains forever wedded to adolescent behavior and thinking.   The boy never worries much about the future.  . Eternal adolescence relieves him of that task.   Communication with a boy is difficult because they believe that they are always right.

The player often possess something out of the ordinary.  They may be rich or handsome or famous. When they make a mistake they confuse reasons with excuses.  Individuals that feel affection for players are often convinced that there is something beneath the shallowness.  They are incorrect.  The shallowness plus the their sense of wonderfulness  makes players. Their self absorption makes the player immune to introspection.  The players’ heart often as no room for love. .

The confused man is unable to establish an identity.  They often find comfort in changing who they are and what they believe in.  Their path is unclear.  They dither and find it hard to commit and follow thru.  Relationships with the confused man are never clearly defined, never really progressing and never really finished  This is because the confused man is always willing to make new promises and new deadlines. The confusion becomes lifelong.

The good man knows that the two most important days of his life were when he was born and when he determines why he was born. He does not fear life’s challenges, instead fears only failure. He goes beyond claims of empathetic skills, instead demonstrates empathy often.   The good man does not make promises. he makes commitments.  He will be your ally, advocate and next of kin.  He will laugh and cry with you.  What he wants you think that he is and what he really is are the same things.

Edward L. Oriole L.C.P.C. C.A.D.C. N.C.C.

Staff The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center

3205 N. Wilke Rd Arlington Heights Il 60004

Tel 847 253 9769   edward@lighthouseemotionalwellness.com