Oversharing means giving more detail about your personal life than should be given. Oversharing also depends on who you are giving these details to. For example, you are probably used to sharing more intimate details about your thoughts and emotions to your close relatives and best friends. However, you would not share those same specifics with a co-worker or the cashier at the grocery store. The reason for this is the vulnerability that it takes to share particulars about your personal life. It is best to do so when you are feeling safe with someone who will not immediately hurt you, dismiss your feelings, or reject you because of them. It is simple to see how oversharing with strangers can be a problem, but oversharing could be a problem in your closer relationships as well. As an adult, oversharing with your parents can negatively impact your individual growth. Below, I go into greater detail about how oversharing with your parents could be deterring your own adult growth.
Although you might be close to your parents, they do not need to know the personal details about your finances. If you are the one responsible for your income and paying your bills, then only you should know the specifics. Sharing those with your parents could lead them to exert control over your finances or become very worried about them. Although your parents may care very much for you, their worries and control can overwhelm you as an adult who is trying to learn and become better. There is also a chance that this information can be used against you in the future when there is a heated argument. There is a difference in asking for help or financial advice (which is okay) and oversharing about your finances.
Oversharing about romantic relationships with your parents can also be harmful to your growth. Dating can include a variety of thoughts and feelings concerning intimacy and assessing if a person is right for you. Your parents might have their own opinions about your dating life or committed partner, yet those opinions should not cloud your own judgment. If they do, your romantic decisions will be made ultimately by your parents and not by you. In addition, details concerning physical intimacy should not be shared with parents. Even as an adult, your parents should remain on a parental level and no longer know the particulars about your physical body and any intimate acts you participate in.
Oversharing with your parents about your finances and romantic relationships can have a negative impact on your own individual growth as an adult. If you do consistently overshare with your parents, then you might have an enmeshed relationship. Although it can be difficult to deal with the thoughts and feelings you have about these topics, they are your own to process and grow through. This is a great benefit of being an independent adult and becoming the best version of yourself!
If you found this helpful, read the next blog titled “Stop Oversharing and Set a Boundary”
Anxiety coach at The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center