So, as we all know, all U.S citizens have a bill of rights mandated by the U.S constitution that gives us power to pursue our own path in life and protects us from unreasonable causes, but what if I told you outside the constitution we have our own personal bill of rights that consists of twenty-five rules that you can emotionally abide by? Twenty-Five simple rules that can overall help you live a much more fulfilling life! Welcome to my one of many parts journal on the twenty-five personal bill of rights…
- I have a right to ask for what I want
a. This is your right! There is no shame in asking for what you want! Now… you may not exactly get what you want all the time, however asking will fulfill that desire. When you go to a restaurant and ask if you can have tater tots instead of fries, you might get lucky and get what you want or you might not, but that’s ok! You were able to ask and see if it can be done instead of holding it in and wondering the “what if I did ask?”
- I have a right to say no to requests for demands that I cannot meet.
a. This one goes out to all my “Yes-men”. You know… the people who constantly say yes to everything and burn themselves out. You have the right to say “No… I can’t”. This doesn’t make you less of a person you are, but if anything helps establish healthy boundaries around others and yourself by knowing your own limitations. Sometimes saying no can help you in the long run in terms of disappointing people you don’t mean to disappoint. Why say yes to demand you can’t meet and in the end disappoint someone? It’s ok… you can say no and there is nothing wrong with that.
- I have a right to express all my feelings both positive and negative.
a. FEELINGS ARE NORMAL AND NATURAL!!! You have the right to feel what you are feeling, but you can choose how you act on them. Bottling up feelings will only cause you to feel unheard. Let those feelings out in a healthy manner. If you have read “The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, you will know that allowing yourself to express your emotions is a product of the first agreement: being impeccable with your word. Don’t lie to yourself or anyone else how you are feeling. Make the unknown known and communicate from there.
- I have the right to change my mind.
a. Have you ever been in a situation where you said yes to something that you thought was going to be straight forward only for you to find out things have changed for the worse? Well… just because you said yes before doesn’t mean you locked yourself in. You have the right to change your mind to make yourself feel safe and/or comfortable. You don’t need to put yourself in a dangerous/uncomfortable situation.
- I have the right to make mistakes and do not have to be perfect.
a. Just like that old Hannah Montana song… “Nobody’s Perfect”. Ok that was cheesy and lame joke, but you get the idea. Perfection can only be achieved by machines and computers, but we as humans have personal flaws that makes us who we are. We will make mistakes and that’s ok. All you can do is take a moment to think about our mistakes and tell ourselves “Next time I will try do better.” Through mistakes we gain and learn more experience. Through perfection, nothing can be fully achieved. As Thomas Edison said “I never failed making a light bulb… I just learned 1000 ways on how now to make one.
Written by: Arbin Memisi, LPC