The word “resentment” is defined as “bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.” How often do we find ourselves dealing with resentment? Resentment can happen with any relationship; friends, family, co-workers, but the pertinent question is: how do we deal with it?
12-Step programs recommend praying for the other person, that they have all the peace and happiness we are wishing for ourselves. Another way to look at this is by adhering to the “don’t take things personally” agreement of the Four Agreements. People often act or speak without conscious thought –they react automatically. In other words, the words or actions have everything to do with them, and nothing to do with you. Remembering this can take the sting out of an uncomfortable interaction.
One last thought: stepping back to regulate yourself before responding to a perceived slight is NOT caving in or condoning the actions or words. It is honoring your feelings while allowing you the time you need to choose your response. And that is all about you.
Melissa Rust, LPC, NCC
The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center