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Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

Addiction in all of its forms is a disease of isolation, secrecy and dissociation. When an individual organizes their world in those terms the result is a significant dysfunction. In my practice, the initial goal is to establish a therapeutic alliance between myself and the client. The next stage includes the identification of the illogical
Worrying is similar to junk emails

Worrying is similar to junk emails

I am going through my email right now and I feel a little overwhelmed. It seems like everyday there is another chunk of emails  in my inbox and they all add up when I let a week go by without deleting them. More than half of these emails will not be opened because they are
Triarchal Theory of Love

Triarchal Theory of Love

I’m a logical person, a person who thinks things through, and then over-thinks them, and then thinks about them some more, and some more still – and yet I don’t know that I can define love. What if love isn’t what all the romantic films have made us believe it is? What if it is
Insecure Attachment & Addiction

Insecure Attachment & Addiction

My work with addictions often discovers that the origin of the addictive behavior lies in an insecure attachment, during childhood, to the primary caregiver. In treatment, after the withdrawal stabilizes, myself and the addict examine the relationship with the primary caregiver during childhood. When successful the connection between the insecure attachment and the addiction are
Awareness, Treatment, and the Danger of Online Pornography on the Brain

Awareness, Treatment, and the Danger of Online Pornography on the Brain

Addiction to online pornography is currently NOT in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V). This opens the debate on whether or not it is a harmful addiction. However, it is in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11). I disagree that online pornography is both harmless and not a real addiction.

Do you compare yourself to others all the time?

Hello there! First, listen to the audio clip to hear the spoken word called “Comparables”. Do you compare yourself to other people all of the time? If so, it must be exhausting! It is natural to compare yourself to people around you and sometimes it can help you improve yourself. However, always comparing yourself to
OCD

OCD

O – C – D. You might of heard of it on tv shows or in movies. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The character in the show or movie might be super organized or very detailed oriented. You might also know people around you who might say, “Oh that’s just my OCD”. People might
Do you have excessive worry?

Do you have excessive worry?

Now I know we all get nervous, especially when there is a new situation we are facing. However, there is a difference between those who can handle their nerves and those who have high anxiety. Meaning, they get nervous about something new and just cannot seem to let it go. This impacts how they sleep,
Music is great for coping with anxiety

Music is great for coping with anxiety

“Sing…. Sing a song….” When you are anxious, it can be tough to belt out a song. It is difficult to sing a favorite tune because the stress on your mind is tangled up with negative thoughts. One helpful way to cope with anxiety is by listening to music. The melody of a song is
“I’m pulling my hair out!”: Trichotillomania and how to address it

“I’m pulling my hair out!”: Trichotillomania and how to address it

You have heard stressed out and overwhelmed people exclaim that they are pulling their hair out. This expression is meant to tell others that we are feeling so overwhelmed or angry that we would do such an act. However, there are circumstances in life that cause certain individuals to actually pull their hair out. Trichotillomania
Why Avoiding Situations Causes More Anxiety and How to Break the Cycle

Why Avoiding Situations Causes More Anxiety and How to Break the Cycle

Avoiding the situations that make you nervous will only make you comfortable for a short period of time. The more times you avoid a situation, the more anxious you become the next time you face it. Why is this? Your anxiety heightens because you have virtually no practice with the situation. You lack practice because

A Little Bit is Better Than Nothing

Something I’ve been hearing about in recent sessions is people’s lack of motivation. Clients talk about goals that are important to them, but also express frustration with themselves for not having yet done whatever it is that they’re wanting to do. A good example of this is exercise. There seems to be this idea that

How to Accomplish Difficult Things in Four Steps

 Evaluate your motivation: Why do you want to do the thing? Use that “why” as a motivator to continue working on the thing. Maybe write it on a post-it and put that post-it on your bathroom mirror to remind yourself why doing the thing is worth it.    Make a plan: How will you

Doing Things Poorly

We’ve all heard the expression that if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right. I disagree. I believe that if something is worth doing, and you can’t do it right, it’s worth doing it anyway you can. Sometimes when we’re feeling down or struggling with low motivation, doing a thing right seems overwhelming. Or
Crisis or Opportunity? Reframing the COVID Crisis

Crisis or Opportunity? Reframing the COVID Crisis

Edward Oriole, providing counseling in arlington heights il talks about COVID crisis & how it can be an opportunity  

digital and physical interaction while staying at home

Staying at home offers it’s own unique set of challenges. If you are still working from home, your family is now all sharing the house together during your work hours. social interaction through social media is a ever increasing trend in our society, but I think staying at home offers a unique option to spend
FREE ONLINE RELAPSE PREVENTION GROUPS

FREE ONLINE RELAPSE PREVENTION GROUPS

Between the mental consideration of relapse and the actual relapse lies the area where relapse can be avoided and recovery continue. That is the area that the group will address.
Practice Gratitude to Decrease Anxiety

Practice Gratitude to Decrease Anxiety

In this time of elevated anxiety, your mind might be overwhelmed with negative thoughts which lead to negative outcomes and then pile into mountains of problems that need solving. Your thoughts and problems are valid, yet your anxiety might be impacting your sleep, appetite, and how you approach others. It is important to step back
Free C19 Virtual Support Group on Tuesdays and Fridays

Free C19 Virtual Support Group on Tuesdays and Fridays

With everything happening in the world around us, we don’t have to look very far to be worried about something. This Free Virtual Support Group is led by counselors at the Lighthouse and designed to address any anxiety, worries or fears people may have because of COVID-19 and the impact it has had. We have
30 Days of Meditation for Healing from COVID-19

30 Days of Meditation for Healing from COVID-19

Join Dr Ray & Jean in 30 days of meditation for healing from this COVID-19 pandemic and all the chaos it has caused our world. This post will be updated each day with the most recent meditation:

Self-Care During Quarantine

Many people are transitioning to working from home. Schools are closed. Libraries are closed. Restaurants no longer offer eat-in dining. Everyone is cooped up at home. I wrote a blog about things to do with your kids while at home last week. Now I’d like to address another topic I care deeply about: self-care. The

Sheltering in Place: A Challenge and an Opportunity

A recurring theme in my recent sessions has been the challenge of adjusting to changes brought about by the recent social distancing and quarantine caused by COVID-19. People who are used to working outside of the home are adjusting to working at home. Children are adjusting to learning from home and they are missing their

Routines in times of quarantine and beyond

As more of our society currently is quarantined inside of their homes, it can be easy to not stick to a routine. The human mind recognizes and adapts quickly to patterns that are seen in daily activity. I propose that now more than ever, families need to stick to routines. Let’s start with the basics:
Coronavirus Virtual Support Group

Coronavirus Virtual Support Group

C19 Virtual Support Group Everyone is worried and needs support at this difficult time. We have created a virtual support group to talk out any fears you may have and join in unity to give support to one another. $10 Friday, March 20, 2020, at 5-6pm Click Here to Register

18 Activities For Quarantined Families

Because of the coronavirus, families are facing unexpected long periods of intense family togetherness. Schools are closed. Many parents are working from home or not able to work at all. And it’s nothing like a planned family vacation, because this time you don’t have the distractions of amusement parks, restaurants or museums to visit. It’s

Final Date Night Celebration – 22 Date Night Challenge

Friday, August 14th, 2020  7:00pm Join Dr. Ray and Jean as we celebrate all the couples who have participated.  Each stamp or date completed by #CouplesSynergy will get you an entry in our raffle for the ultimate date night.  Plus more giveaways. Space is limited please register early. $40 per couple. Please visit our Facebook

Sheri Jewel – 22 Date Night Challenge

Wednesday May 13th, 2020  6:30pm She sees dead people, well more like talks to them. Sheri is a Medium who has been communicating with loved ones who have passed.  Whether you are curious or going though grief you will want to be at this event.  You can learn more about her by listening to Couples

Paint by Partners – 22 Date Night Challenge

Friday, April 17th 2020   7:00pm – 9:30pm BYOB and paint with your partner.  In this 2.5 hour workshop you will leave with a painting you will paint together. A great memento of the evening and a unique expression of your relationship. There will be several dates for this event. Please register early to get the

Gong Bath – 22 Date Night Challenge

Friday, June 5th 2020  7:00pm – 9:00pm Join us for a unique evening of sound healing and meditation.  Bring a pillow, blanket and yoga mat.  You might come in stressed but you will float out feeling wonderful after letting go of stress, anxiety and anger.  Ask the front desk for registration, or you may also

Crush Anxiety: Virtual Group for Adults

Elevate your body in this 4-week virtual group. You will learn to recognize the physical symptoms of anxiety and better ways to  cope with them. Through group discussion and guided meditation, you will strengthen your mind to crush anxiety and elevate your body to feel good. If you are interested in attending this group, please

Family Synergy Therapy (FST) For Addictions

Is your child or spouse in therapy? Are you going through a divorce? Are you the parent or spouse of an addict? Do you struggle with helping your children? Recovery is a complex system. Families are a complex system. When these two systems interact, new skills are needed. FST is designed to equip families with

Coping with Divorce: Group for Kids

Is your child struggling with the effects of divorce? Children show stress that is different from adults. In this group. each session will teach your child(ren) how to identify these signs and handle them effectively. If you are interested in attending this group, please check out our Facebook page for dates and times:  https://www.facebook.com/LighthouseEmotionalWellness/ or

Digital Wellness Group for Kids

Is your teen or young adult abusing or addicted to gaming? Watching too much T.V.? Depressed or anxious from social media bullying? In this group, each session will address a different topic in online safety and balance. If you are interested in attending this group, please check out our Facebook page for dates and times:

Lighthouse Response to COVID-19 and the National Emergency

  March 13, 2020 RE: Lighthouse Response to COVID-19 To All Our Clients & Their Families: This truly is a challenging time for all of us amidst these concerns regarding the coronavirus. As healthcare providers, we are dedicated more than ever in supporting you and your family through this crisis. This difficult time will bring

WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU?

Paying attention to how men relate to others has taught me that maleness styles fall into four categories.  That is:1.The Boy.  2. The Player.  3. The Confused man and finally 4. The Good man. The boy confuses growing older with growing up.  Growing older is mandatory and growing up is a choice. A boy is
Year End Spirituality Workshop

Year End Spirituality Workshop

Saturday, December 28, 2019 at 11 AM – 12:30 PM Let go of 2019 and Consciously Create 2020 Join us for meditation, sound healing and creating the future through a powerful envisioning workshop Join Jean & Ray Kadkhodaian and Angela Zender in this amazing workshop Cost: $50 Register Today by calling us at 847-253-9769, or

EMPATHY IS VITAL TO RELATIONSHIPS

 Edward L. Oriole L.C.P.C. C.A.D.C. N.C.C. Part of the human condition is a desire to be understood. We want the foremost people in our lives to understand what our daily existence is like. The fear of abandonment is less prevalent when someone notices whether we are joyful, fearful, sad or if we are disappointed,
Five Signs Your Child May Need Counseling

Five Signs Your Child May Need Counseling

Five Signs Your Child May Need Counseling By: Samantha E. Peritz, LPC Everyone wants to believe that they know their children best, and the truth is you probably do. If your gut is telling you that something isn’t right with your child’s emotional state or behavior, there is nothing wrong with reaching out for help.

MINDFULNESS AND EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

 Edward L. Oriole L.C.P.C. C.A.D.C. N.C.C. One of the techniques that I advocate, whenever emotional deregulation is chronic, is the use of meditation. The key signal that meditation is needed is when emotional thinking and emotional decision-making have taken hold. Mindfulness is developing an awareness of your mental processes. When you have developed

Is Happiness a Moral Imperative?

Edward L. Oriole L.C.P.C. N.C.C. C.A.D.C. Clinical Therapist The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center and Footprints to Recovery IS HAPPINESS A MORAL IMPERATIVE ? 19 articles   Often in my clinical work I ask a client the following question: “Do you have a moral obligation to be happy?” This opens up an avenue of thought that
The four mistakes men make during an argument with their spouse

The four mistakes men make during an argument with their spouse

The four mistakes men make during an argument with their spouse -By Dr Ray Kadkhodaian After having worked with thousands of couples together, my wife and I have been witnesses to many different relationship patterns that can help build the relationship or destroy a relationship. When working with men, my job is to help them
Divorce Support Group

Divorce Support Group

Divorce Support Group offered by The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center, a counseling center located in Schaumburg, Illinois     April 21, 2018 10:30am – 12:00pm Topics covered: Letting go of the hurt & anger Self-empowerment Co-parenting challenges Personal boundaries Dating again Finding life balance $40 per person Call 847-253-9769 to register Hosted by The Lighthouse
Addiction Education and Support Group

Addiction Education and Support Group

Addiction Education and Support Group offered at The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center a counseling center located in Schaumburg, Illinois on Fridays at 6pm Facilitated by Edward Oriole, LCPC, CADC “We seek to identify and address that period of time when abstinence resolve has weakened but actual relapse has not yet occurred” “Relapse is a process.

WHAT HAPPENS TO FAMILIES WHEN ‘ADDICTION” BECOMES A PART OF IT?

"The whole of the family is adversely affected by one addict or one addiction within the family."
"Here are the warning signs to look for within the family structure.
"The goals of family synergy model."

Being in Love and Logical Thinking

What if “happily ever after” is not the end but the beginning.
Marriage Counseling: Challenge Your Marriage to New Experiences – Lighthouse Emotional Wellness

Marriage Counseling: Challenge Your Marriage to New Experiences – Lighthouse Emotional Wellness

Marriage Counseling: Challenge Your Marriage to New Experiences – Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Learn new tips on how to spice up your relationship with loved ones in your life, with the help of Dr. Ray and Rev. Jean. For more information and to follow Dr. Ray and Rev. Jean, follow them on social media!  
What is the first thing you touch in the morning? #StopPhubbingYourSpouse

What is the first thing you touch in the morning? #StopPhubbingYourSpouse

What is the first thing you touch in the morning? #StopPhubbingYourSpouse   -By Dr Ray & Jean Kadkhodaian What is the first thing you touch in the morning? #StopPhubbingYourSpouse. Before your mind goes to the gutter, and now that we have gotten your attention, we want to address a big issue in relationships today. Although
Marriage Counseling Schaumburg Illinois: “Should couples see the same therapist”

Marriage Counseling Schaumburg Illinois: “Should couples see the same therapist”

Marriage Counselors in Schaumburg Illinois: “Should couples see the same therapist?” Dr. Ray and Jean Kadkhodaian are the founders of The Lighthouse Emotional Wellness Center, and the creators of “Couples Synergy” a Marriage Counseling program in Schaumburg Illinois. “Couples Synergy” is a 90 day program designed by married couple Dr. Ray and Jean Kadkhodaian to
“What Men & Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day”  -By Dr. Ray and Rev. Jean Kadkhodaian

“What Men & Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day” -By Dr. Ray and Rev. Jean Kadkhodaian

What Men & Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day By Dr. Ray and Rev. Jean Kadkhodaian What She Wants Little girls dream or romantic gifts and wedding days, and their first real taste of this is Valentine’s Day. Gaudy cards inscribed with the finest 8th grade poetry and priceless costume jewelry has melted the hearts

EFFECTIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION FOR COUPLES

EFFECTIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION FOR COUPLES Edward L. Oriole L.C.P.C. C.A.D.C.   Did you ever say “I am sorry” and felt a sense of discomfort.  This signals that the cliché apology was not quite enough?  There is a reason for that feeling of dissatisfaction. The reason is that our logical brain is telling us that something

The Four Agreements and the Synergy Model of Couple’s Therapy

The Four Agreements support successful couple's therapy

THE EFFECTIVENESS OF FAMILY COUNSELING

THE EFFECTIVENESS OF FAMILY COUNSELING Edward L. Oriole L.C.P.C. C.A.D.C. N.C.C. When I was a teenager I read “Anna Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy. Tolstoy wrote with a profound appreciation of the human condition. His insight is demonstrated with the first line of “Anna Karenina”; He posits that “All happy families are alike. Each unhappy family
We Are Failing Our Teens:  The Destructive Combination of Technology, Social Media, and Sexuality

We Are Failing Our Teens: The Destructive Combination of Technology, Social Media, and Sexuality

We Are Failing Our Teens: The Destructive Combination of Technology, Social Media, and Sexuality -By Dr Ray Kadkhodaian This past January, in a local suburb of Chicago, a 16-year-old teen committed suicide hours after being confronted by school officials for video recording a sexual encounter he had with another peer. He was an honor roll

The Power of Positive Intention in Couples Therapy

"When the certainty of positive intention is firmly in place the level of trust for the couple increases and the chance for miscommunication decreases."
I need help, do I seek out a therapist or a life coach?

I need help, do I seek out a therapist or a life coach?

  I need help, do I seek out a therapist or a life coach?   -By Dr. Ray Kadkhodaian Most people do not know that there are differences between licensed therapists and life coaches, and the type of guidance you will receive is predicated on which one you choose. It is not a surprise that
The Origin of Behavior

The Origin of Behavior

<h4>The Origin of Behavior</h4> Behavior was first studied by evolutionists ages ago. According to them, all animal and human behaviors have distinct evolutionary roots. They believe that their characteristics are passed down to them by their most primitive ancestors. In addition to their claim, they say that all behaviors come from one single origin and

The Four Types of Parenting Styles and the Effect upon Children

Parenting style affects the way that children develop into adults
Kuma’s Corner Schaumburg Review – lunch date

Kuma’s Corner Schaumburg Review – lunch date

  Lunch Date at Kuma’s Corner – Schaumburg   HEAVY – this must be the best word to describe this restaurant in its entirety. Everything is ridiculously heavy in this gourmet burger bar. Burgers, beers, and bands are roaring like their restaurant logo. The big screen projecting horror movies complement with the atmosphere while we
Perspectives on Couples Synergy from Author, Drew Bekius

Perspectives on Couples Synergy from Author, Drew Bekius

Perspectives on Couples Synergy from Author, Drew Bekius   Having been contacted after many years and after having obtained consent to talk about this experience, Jean and I are very proud to have been part of the life of Drew Bekius, author of “The Rise and Fall of Faith”, are extremely honored to have been
A Taste of Dallas

A Taste of Dallas

Being from Chicago, we are used to a city with so many delicious choices when it comes to food. That is why when we travel, we try to enjoy as much of the local cuisine as possible to get a taste of what that city has to offer. Dallas is no exception. We had the
Day Date Idea:  Scuppernong Trail & the Holi Cannoli

Day Date Idea: Scuppernong Trail & the Holi Cannoli

About an hour north of the Illinois-Wisconsin border, you will find some great hiking trails and a hidden gem of a restaurant called, the Holi Cannoli. Great day date idea!
Punch Bowl Social Review

Punch Bowl Social Review

Punch Bowl Social Review If you ever want to unwind and go out for some beer, good food and recreation, you’ve got to try this fancy dining place in Schaumburg. Quick bite after a late night of working, Jean and I decided to stop in at Punch Bowl Social in Schaumburg. This restaurant has a
Why Bother with Change?

Why Bother with Change?

Why Bother with Change? By: Dr Ray and Rev Jean Kadkhodaian So its day 254 of my journey I only have 20 days left to complete the last 122 miles to reach 1000. A question I get asked and a question I ask myself often is why. Why do this. Why put myself through this
Couples Synergy Scavenger Hunt

Couples Synergy Scavenger Hunt

Click on the flyer for more information on the Couples Synergy Scavenger Hunt between 2/14/17 – 2/21/17

The 5 R’s for Coping with Anxiety

The 5 R’s for Coping with Anxiety Kate Rhodes MS, LPC, NCC   Anxiety, more often than not, has the ability to sneak up on us in the most inconvenient ways. A little anxiety is useful in times when we need a good push; it lets us know we are alive, trying new things and
Creating a Coping Skills Toolbox